Breaking up is hard to do!
Nothing you will experience in your lifetime will be as bad as a bad divorce. However, you control the direction and course your divorce will take. If you select the right divorce attorney to take you down the bumpy road of divorce, your divorce experience will be much less stressful. First, wrap your mind around the fact that a divorce is not easy. If you start a divorce proceeding believing that ” this will be a piece of cake” I guarantee you, you will be disappointed. It won’t be easy. The legal system is not easy to navigate. And, if you have minor children and you are disagreeing over who will get custody, your divorce will be even more difficult. I tell my clients right from the beginning, if you want to fight over everything, you will lose. You will lose financially and emotionally. Even if you win in court, at the end of a bitter divorce you will hate the court system, you will hate your ex and you will certainly hate me. Fighting over everything is the absolutely wrong approach to divorce. I encourage all my clients, to agree on as many issues as they can. Think of it this way: If your divorce has 10 issues to be resolved, for example, property division, alimony, child support, custody, etcetera, and you and your spouse can agree on resolving 8 issues, you only have to litigate 2 issues. That is much smarter and easier than starting off by refusing to agree to anything. Isn’t it? In this way, you show the other side and the court you are reasonable. You save money in legal fees, and most of all you spare yourself the emotional trauma of going to court over and over again to fight over things that in the big picture simply aren’t worth it. Sadly, many attorneys will litigate every issue in your case. In the beginning, a client may think “wow what a fighter”. Wait until you get the bill for legal services rendered. You will soon realize that spending $5,000.00 to have a judge decide who gets the $50.00 vase you bought at a flea market just wasn’t worth it.
Be Reasonable Make A Deal
Yes. Be reasonable. I know, you just came out of a frightfully bad relationship. You don’t feel like being reasonable. You weren’t treated in that way. Trust me. There is life after divorce, and if you have kids, there will be weddings, graduations, and many other social events you will want to go to where your ex will be in attendance. Be reasonable. Going to court over and over again fighting over little things, extracts a greater emotional price than one might believe. You don’t want to survive your divorce and have emotional scars for the rest of your life, do you? Of course not. Be reasonable.
Hiring the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make in your divorce case. You need to feel comfortable with your lawyer. After all, you will be airing your dirty laundry and sharing all the details of your relationship. You need to depend upon your attorney, you need to know that he/she is there to answer your questions and advocate for you. And you need a lawyer who is smart and strategic: who knows when to fight and when to negotiate. Fighting it out in court may seem the right way to go when you are exiting a bad marriage-but it’s not. It is far better to negotiate your way out of a bad relationship and settle all matters that can be settled by agreement. Then only litigate those matters that cannot be settled. Your case will be far less stressful and emotionally draining, it will move a lot faster through the legal system and cost a whole lot less money. Experience counts. We have handled hundreds of divorce, support and custody cases. Having said that, there are cases in which the other side is so unreasonable that settlement is impossible. In such a case we litigate. It usually doesn’t take more than a few wins in court to bring an uncooperative, unreasonable spouse to the negotiating table.
Call me for a strictly confidential free consultation at either of our two offices, 856-881-9600 for our Glassboro Office or 609-886-5700 for our Cape May Office.
We are in close proximity to the following areas: Gloucester County, NJ- Camden County, NJ- Cape May County, NJ- Cumberland County, NJ- Salem County, NJ-
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